assume that you have the upper hand.\r\nThe beliefs that last longest are those that have strong support not just in your head but also in the real world.
5. I am the more important person in the relationship. This particular belief is not about selfishness but rather about practicality. If there are two people in a relationship, then you have a choice of either making yourself or your companion the more important one. If you choose yourself, then you more or less know what you want, and you can handle that. On the other hand, if you make your companion the most important person in the relationship, then you have to figure out what she wants. You can do this by asking, or by guessing. If you guess, youre very likely to get it wrong (trust me on this). And if you ask, youre still likely to get it wrong since people are notoriously inaccurate in reporting their unconscious needs and desires. So your best solution is to stick with what you know, i.e. what you want in the relationship, and take care of that first while remaining your kind and considerate self. Do you remember the safety announcement that we all ignore at the beginning of an airplane flight? It says that in the case of a drop in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will automatically fall from the ceiling. It then says that if youre with a child, put on your own mask first, then attend to the child. The reasoning is that if you do it the other way around, you are likely to both perish, which makes for an unhappy ending. This book is about
